Girl sits in cafe; cute guy walks in. Suddenly, her formerly pleasant (even slightly attractive) face contorts into a strained pout. She tightens her body, arches her back, pushes her chest out, and assumes a pose that highlights her piercings, as if she was posing for the cover of the “Girls Gone Wild: Hipster Cafe” DVD.

Dude just got hit with her mirror face, and you can tell cuz he looks scared.

It’s like the hip-hop group Das Racist says in their hit song about working out & eating right: “Man in the Mirror”:

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror; I’m asking him to change his ways.”

Exactly, Das Racist. Can the man in the mirror change his ways? Because Lord knows that when it comes to the mirror face, we’ve all strained, pouted, sucked in, and surpassed Malcolm Gladwell’s requisite 10,000 hours for total mirror-face domination.

But, what happens when that mirror face fucking takes control of your life, your friends, and your job? What happens when that mirror face starts banging your wife? What then, Gladwell?

I honestly don’t know. And neither does Das Racist. But, we would love to see all of your mirror faces on July 29th at the Mezzanine in San Francisco. Das Racist will be performing, the Punjabi-funk sensation Black Mahal will be bringing the bhangra, and I’ll be premiering my new sketch piece, Fair & Lovely Inside.

If you buy a ticket, you get in free.

- @soodsandeep

PS Parvesh Cheena, the star of NBC’s (now canceled) “Outsourced” will be guest-starring in the next episode of Post-Nup!

When you spend most of your creative time at coffee shops in Berkeley, it’s a constant struggle to avoid the instinct to sit around and just make fun of hippie chicks.

This week, I failed.

- Sandeep

Earlier this month, Michelle Obama did away with the long and tangled history of the Food Pyramid, replacing it with what she and the administration perceive as a simpler visual interpretation of what Americans should be eating every day: the Nutrition Plate.

Neither plate nor pyramid work very well. The problem is that it’s almost impossible to explain a nutritious diet through a simple graphic, especially a graphic that treats all calories and industry lobbyists as if they were equal.

In any case, now that the USDA is no longer using the pyramid, we figured that it could be appropriated to serve other, equally important purposes.

- Sandeep

In the Nintendo game “Double Dribble”, there was a spot behind the three point line that was always money.

The spot was located in the upper right hand corner. You could take off from anywhere, hang in the air as long as you wanted, and as long you found the spot, the ball would always go in.

That spot made the game really fun when you initially found it, but eventually it turned the game into a joke. This was egregiously poor Japanese programming (perhaps even more egregious than naming a basketball game after a basketball penalty), but despite all this, we would still play for hours.

From time to time, I’ve tried to find that spot on a real court. Not there.

- Sandeep